2020: In Review

Well, where to start?

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It has been such a challenging year and I’m saying that as a person with privilege. I cannot begin to imagine how hard this year has been for those working as nurses on the frontline of the pandemic, the essential workers, care home staff, those already in financial constraints who have had to face job losses. Those that have lost loved ones. My heart really goes out to you.

I usually do a round up of my year, the positives and the negatives but this year it just doesn’t sit well with me. I’ve continued to make work and I’ve managed to care for my beautiful son full time too. To me that’s a huge achievement and all I really want to focus on.

So, if this year has been difficult for you and you feel guilty for not doing or achieving everything you wanted then please, let yourself off the hook. You’re still here and that’s enough. If you can, try and think of the positives that this year has brought you. I hope there has been something. For me it’s meant more time with my partner as he was forced to work from home. But it’s also totally okay to feel broken by this year of never ending bad news. Be kind to yourself.

As always, I’m here if you ever need a friendly ear. Just send me a message or an email. And remember you are not alone. None of us are alone. I’m wishing you a lot of love and I just hope that in the not too distant future we can see and hug our families again. If this year has taught us anything then surely it’s shown what is really important?

Best wishes for 2021 and I look forward to sharing my art and life with you then.

2019: In Review

2019, what a year.

A Collection of Commissioned Floral Drawings

A Collection of Commissioned Floral Drawings

I experienced the most change in 2019 than at any other time in my life. The year started with me being very heavily pregnant, anxiously waiting for exchange and completion on our first home together. The keys came in mid January and we had just enough time to give the flat an almighty clean and with (a lot of) help from friends paint a few rooms. We moved in and on the 8th February (nine days overdue) our son Harrison arrived. The next days/weeks passed in a blur. Sleepless nights, breastfeeding struggles, spontaneous tears all mixed in with pure joy, moments of disbelief that we had made something so perfect and a constant feeling of adjustment.

In April I picked up a pen to draw for the first time since Harrison arrived, I managed some simple sweet peas in fountain pen. In May we took a trip to Cornwall to visit my dad, it was our first little family holiday and felt so needed. In June I started working on a new ‘woodland study’ drawing for an exhibition with The Arborealists; an artist group whose focus is on trees. It was an honour to be asked by founder Tim Craven if I would take part in the exhibition at the Turbine House in Reading as a guest. The exhibition was a success and it was wonderful to be able to take some time to attend the private view and meet some of the participating artists in person. The exhibition coincided with me ‘solo-parenting’ for a week while Craig went to a festival, Harrison and I got on extremely well on our own though of course we were very happy when he returned.

Woodland Study VI at The Arborealists and Guests Exhibition at The Turbine House

Woodland Study VI at The Arborealists and Guests Exhibition at The Turbine House

Summer was spent picnicking with friends, fruit picking, taking walks, visiting National Trust gardens, Harrisons very first day at the beach and several trips to Lymington to indulge in pub lunches with my grandparents. Inspired by all the flowers we’d seen on our day trips I started making more and more floral drawings, most of which were on beautiful handmade paper that I’d sourced. The drawings that I made and shared led to a few commissions which I was grateful for but found to lead to a bit of anxiety as I felt under pressure to create the perfect drawing. Several of the floral drawings went on display at The Sheep Shed Gallery in Weyhill for an exhibition titled Where Flowers Bloom, as I’d hoped when I had a solo exhibition in 2018 I now have a lovely relationship with the gallery which has led to me being asked to exhibit in group shows a few times.

A Favourite Commission - Seeded Eucalyptus

A Favourite Commission - Seeded Eucalyptus

Gardenia Commission

Gardenia Commission

August 28th was a heartbreaking day as we had to say goodbye to our beloved golden retriever, Megan. She loved us unconditionally and brought us 14 years of joy and laughs. We still miss her everyday.

In September we attended the wedding of one of my dear university friends, Harrison stopped breastfeeding and we finished two terms worth of Baby Sensory classes. It really felt like Harrison was starting to go from baby to little boy. In October we were gifted five nights stay in Craig’s sisters caravan in the New Forest. We went for windy walks along the coast of Milford-on-Sea, ate pub lunches and drank hot chocolates, visited beautiful Exbury Gardens and took a walk from Beaulieu to Bucklers Hard. Since moving into our flat in January we had experienced some really awful noise disturbances from our upstairs neighbour, combined with lack of sleep and a fairly constant feeling of exhaustion we were so grateful to be able to escape for a few days to enjoy true peace and quiet. A new mortgage, new car and a new baby on basically one income meant that ‘adventures’ were a little few and far between throughout the year so a free trip really meant a lot and gave us some lovely memories - our first holiday just us three!

In November Craig and I celebrated 13 years together, we got to enjoy an uninterrupted brunch while Harrison slept peacefully in his pram and in the afternoon we took him to our local National Trust estate, The Vyne for a little DIY family portrait session. I also released two brand new giclée prints taken from my ‘woodland study’ series of drawings, they came out better than expected and I hope that many will find new homes.

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In December I had two drawings on display at The Sheep Shed Gallery in Weyhill at an exhibition titled Synergy. I was pleased to learn that both drawings sold. The rest of the month was all about enjoying our first festive season together as a new family. I took some time away from social media after the results of the general election and realised that I’d like to take a break more often, I’m so guilty of constantly scrolling and spend a lot of my time liking, commenting and sharing other peoples work that I frankly felt quite burnt out. It’s great to support other people by engaging as it does make a difference but I was making it too much of a priority, feeling bad if I missed somebody’s post.

Winter Tree, pen on paper

Winter Tree, pen on paper

It’s been a big year personally and that’s one of the reasons why my art business has not done as well as 2018 as I haven’t been able to devote as much time to it. In 2018 I sold over 100 drawings, in 2019 I sold around 40. In 2018 my website received over 7000 unique visitors, in 2019 just under 4000. I only managed a few journal entries in all of 2019 whereas in 2018 I ran an artist interview series and wrote some very personal posts too which got a lot of traction. Without new posts being added regularly it’s hard to get people to click on to your website, this year I’d like to increase my journal entries again, possibly by doing ‘artist spotlights’ where I write about other artists work, like an interview but without having to bother the artists with lots of questions.

Mottisfont in July - A New Woodland Study Drawing

Mottisfont in July - A New Woodland Study Drawing

I would also like to create more drawings that I can make prints from to create a little bit more passive income, I’m in receipt of child benefit as our household income is under the £50,000 threshold but I don’t receive maternity pay. The only money I have is money I make from my shop, child benefit and money that Craig gives me. I very rarely buy myself anything, most of the money that goes into my account goes on formula for Harrison, activities for him like ‘messy play’ and other baby groups, food shopping and household essentials. I’d love to be able to make enough that I don’t have to ask for money from my partner, can buy things that I need easily and things that Harrison needs too. Ultimately I’d like to earn enough to be able to have my income taken into account when we move on from our flat and into a house, it’s going to be a big financial struggle moving on as house prices in our area of north Hampshire get more expensive and not enough affordable housing is built.

It’s been one hell of a year, we’re used to working hard and travelling hard - our twenties were all about adventures to faraway lands but 2019 was probably our biggest adventure yet; parenthood. We couldn’t be prouder parents of our little boy, he’s fast approaching his first birthday and has such a big personality, mischievous, cheeky with an eye for trouble. We love making memories with him and hope 2020 will be a great year full of fun. My art making and business running has to slot in around Harrison these days but I like to think that I can make 2020 more productive so that I can spin both plates of artist and mum.

Harrison’s First Christmas

Harrison’s First Christmas

Have you written a review of your year or hopes and goals for 2020? I'd love to read if so, let me know in the comments below. 

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